Woozy (Ass)Viper

Got a spam mail from a desperate band that sends out their crappy stuff without checking the content of the blog they´re approaching. So to be fair I here post the whole conversation:

“On 12/22/09 10:25 PM, Woozy Viper wrote:
We are a new rock ‘n’ roll band.
We want you to listen to our music.

You can download our debut album for free here:
www.woozyviper.com

Or you can listen on myspace or last fm:
www.myspace.com/woozyviper

If you like it tell a friend.
Thank you for your time.

INFORMATION:
Band name:  Woozy Viper
Genre:  Rock&  Roll
Band members:  Luke Meseke, Mitch Meseke
Location: Queens / Brooklyn
From:  Junction City, Kansas

Album name:  Woozy (Ass)Viper
Release date:  11/30/2009
Album length:  36:29
Track listing:
1.  Look Out!
2.  Rent
3.  Come Over
4.  One Of These Days
5.  Whoa Baby
6.  Dirty Rat
7.  Speaking In Tongues
8.  Alright
9.  King Kong
10.  Love Scented Candles
11.  The Switchblade Swing
12.  It’s All Over

Website: www.woozyviper.com
Myspace:
www.myspace.com/woozyviper
Email:
[email protected]

Me: WHY? DON´T NEED YOUR SPAM!

On Wed, Dec 23, 2009 at 10:04 AM, Woozy Viper wrote:
> > Fuck you.

Thinking that was creative I had to write ém back and at least say thank you so so I did:

Me: Thank you :)!

Thinking this will ending all the conversation with Woozy (Ass)Viper they wrote me back, yes I feel flattered and important:

On 12/23/09 4:15 PM, Woozy Viper wrote:
> >>
> >> And if you don’t want bands sending you music, then why the fuck does
> >> your site say this,
> >> “If you’re in a band and want to get feauterd here just get in touch!
> >> You’ll find the “contact” link further down.”???

Seeing they have a point there but still don´t seem to get what this blog focus on I wrote ém back:
Me: Sure, but what relevance does your band have to the ones posted on my blog?
Please tell me.

Now the Woozy (Ass)Viper brings out the BIG gun. They really want to make me cry and be sad during the holidays. So they send me this:

You’re stuck up.
Here’s a cover song for you…
http://www.woozyviper.com/files/WoozyViper_PunkIsDead(COVER).mp3

I wrote ém back but still haven´t got an answer. But is it TRUE???? Is Punk really DEAD??? Please tell me it ain´t so :(!!

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109 Responses to Woozy (Ass)Viper

  1. Mmmatze says:

    Nah, fuck ’em, they are probably the same kind of people who tell you that Santa is dead. These guys are messed up in the head!

    • regg says:

      everybody is talkin shit, but you ain’t saying nothin!! Spend time putting your own music together and shut the fuck up!!

      • Jay Thurston says:

        Awwwwwwwwww….poor Regg. You should listen to people that do know music…okay. Just a thought.

        • Woozy (Ass)Viper says:

          You know Woozy (Ass)Viper? And Woozy (Ass)Viper is the Queen of England, right? You only know how to suck a giant Woozy (Ass)Viper, and swallow that hot steamy Woozy (Ass)Viper. There’s no way you could even hear this Woozy (Ass)Viper album with all that Woozy (Ass)Viper in your ears.

  2. Erich says:

    Hahahahaha. The anti-promo shit war goes on!!!!

  3. Damos says:

    Yeah, fuck ’em.

  4. Jay Thurston says:

    They sound like that “Mammy” music in the States in the 1920’s…Al Jolsen music…pretty bad. They are brothers that hump each other…I will write them and tell them how bad they suck.

    • Woozy (Ass)Viper says:

      Dude, you really sound like you wanna Woozy (Ass)Viper these two guys. The more you Woozy (Ass)Viper them, the more Woozy (Ass)Viper shows. I want to touch you Woozy (Ass)Viper. Mate.

  5. Woozy (Ass)Viper says:

    It’s funny how kids these days are so tough when hiding behind computer screens. Especially this stuck up Swedish kid that writes a blog about punk music from his mom’s apartment.

    And that’s right Mmmatze, we are messed up in the head. Come to NYC and I’ll stomp a mud hole in your chest. And that goes double for you Jay Thurston.

    Yall ain’t punk, you ain’t nothin’.

    • Jay Thurston says:

      Oooooooooooh, real tough guys! Hahahahaha…face it. Your music sucks, and you suck. Pull your head out of your brothers ass and shut the fuck up, bitch!!

      • Woozy (Ass)Viper says:

        Where do you live? I’d love to meet you.

        • Jay Thurston says:

          I am not into guys,or sissies is lame bands.

          • Woozy (Ass)Viper says:

            Nope. You’re only into the Woozy (Ass)Viper, and whatever other butt-rock bands you meth smoking illiterates are into these days. Y’all always have been a cancer in need of eradication, ain’t ya? Rimmers.

    • Chris g says:

      hey stop checking the same blog as us, we’re TRYING to preserve our cooties

      • Woozy (Ass)Viper says:

        Good Woozy (Ass)Viper. What are you 8 years Woozy (Ass)Viper? Go back to j Woozy (Ass)Viper off to pictures of Woozy (Ass)Viper´s corpse.

  6. Adamski says:

    Genius stuff!:)

  7. Jack Bauer says:

    I was gonna give them a listen but they look like pricks so I’ll not bother!

    • Woozy (Ass)Viper says:

      You named yourself off the character from 24… Who’s the real prick?

      • Jack Bauer says:

        You’ve named yourself Boozy (Ass) Bandit and you’re calling me a prick?! Dammit!!

        • Woozy (Ass)Viper says:

          Woozy (Ass)Viper!!!! Seriously, what kind of dry-humping, Woozy (Ass)Viper, Woozy (Ass)Viper having tardo names themself after the lamest show on television. Woozy (Ass)Viper has ginger balls…and I know you’ve been thinking about them. Dangling.

  8. Woozy (Ass)Viper says:

    Anybody else got anything smart to say?

    • Adamski says:

      Oh, the temptation! Nah just “bolt, ya rocket!” as we say in Glasgow. That’s in Scotland if you wanna come looking for me, Woosie Fuckfeatures.

      • Woozy (Ass)Viper says:

        Who in their right mind would ever visit that Woozy (Ass)Viper? I’d rather eat my own Woozy (Ass)Viper. Wait, but then I’d be Woozy (Ass)Viper. Go chase the Woozy (Ass)Viper with your mate, Woozy (Ass)Viper ya smelly pirate Woozy (Ass)Viper!

  9. Woozy (Ass)Viper says:

    Rad. I’ve added you to the list of cunts that talk big on blogs.

    • Ian says:

      You keep a list of cunts that talk big on blogs? Maybe if you spent less time making these lists and more time writing music your band wouldn’t be so terrible. Well, probably not, but anyway, can I get a copy of the list?

      And calling the KBD blog guys “kids” that live in their mom’s apartment, you are really showing how little you looked into this blog before you sent your lame promo sheet to them. These guys were already old men back when you were still sucking your mommy’s tits and tickling your daddy’s balls (last week).

      Haha, all joking aside, really, this band is terrible.

      • Woozy (Ass)Viper says:

        All Woozy (Ass)Viper aside, most of the criticism on this blog is thinly-veiled anti-Woozy (Ass)Viperism. How non-conformist of you.

    • Joseph Shapoka says:

      Aw, youre so sweet :)

  10. dewey.decimal says:

    Woozy (Ass) Viper RULES.

    • Jay Thurston says:

      Yes, they do. Their mom loves me!!!

      • Woozy (Ass)Viper says:

        Dude, I’d be willing to bet your own Woozy (Ass)Viper doesn’t even love you. I know she can’t be enjoying that Woozy (Ass)Viper smell every time you enter the room.

  11. The Flakes // Drummer says:

    If the definition of a kid is a 42 year cool dude from Sweden then I´m flattered :).

    • Jay Thurston says:

      Or a 46 year old in Northern California…what dildos.

      • Woozy (Ass)Viper says:

        Damn. You guys are too Woozy (Ass)Viper to know jack about Woozy (Ass)Viper music. Go worship your Woozy (Ass)Viper idols, and leave the Woozy (Ass)Viper to those of us weren’t around to see the first Woozy (Ass)Viper landing.

  12. Jay Thurston says:

    I hope Woozy Viper knows that we are kidding…that we really love their music?? I think they feel like we don’t admire their awesome band. Peter, I think we should stop being mean and let them know we are joking…what do you think? Aw, fuck it! They still suck ass….

    • regg says:

      Jay – you are a hater bro!!

      • Jay Thurston says:

        Naw, Regg. I really love these guys!! They are great…one of the greatest bands of our time!!! I enjoy them so much. I was being sarcastic above. Don’t you know sarcasm when you read it?

    • Woozy (Ass)Viper says:

      I love it when your Woozy (Ass)Viper gargles me man-juice. Makes me feel all Woozy (Ass)Viper and what-have-you.

  13. Kevin says:

    I checked them out… it’s just faggy ass hipster music. Figures they’re from NYC.

  14. elliott says:

    i’m gonna give these posers a listen then laugh. i’m a young guy but that don’t mean shit. this guy sounds like a stupid fucking prick. the same kind of prick that makes me fucking puke out my guts. you ain’t nothin.

  15. X_ELIM says:

    What’s the point

  16. sherpa says:

    Your band sucks. This is a punk rock blog. Stay the fuck away. you are pussys. Plain n’ simple.

  17. ep says:

    woozy ass viper is fuckin square. come see me faggot. much respect to the guy who takes the time to run this badass site. and why is living in an appartment with your mom a bad thing?? kill yourself.

    • Woozy (Ass)Viper says:

      You like to dress up in your Woozy (Ass)Viper panties, admit it! You Woozy (Ass)Viper in them, admit it!

  18. Erich says:

    I want on that cunt blog list too, pretty please, yes? PS: I couldn’t even say your band sucks. It’s much worse than that.

  19. Peter G says:

    How can I resist the temptation to say that they suck knowing they will read what I write?
    These wusses will never make it!
    HA HA HA HA!

  20. Erich says:

    They’re on FB and I’ve just become fan of theirs so I can leave “Fucking losers!” in their pinboard. Haha – you should do that too!

  21. JohanMalm says:

    Hey guys don’t be so hard on ’em became a fan: http://www.facebook.com/woozyviper?ref=search&sid=587161964.2661855430..1&v=info#/woozyviper?v=wall&ref=search

  22. JohanMalm says:

    There is a guy on spotify who make popcovers of crass, that are actually good. http://open.spotify.com/album/3Qy3qSaLvfQkIz6uLCroWW Jeffrey lewis is his name, Banned from the roxy, do they owe us a living and the walls are great.

  23. elliott says:

    i think i should email them. yes i do like crass but come on man. i want to punch these guys in the face.

  24. JohanMalm says:

    I’m no longer a fan of them on myspace. They kicked me out

  25. zach says:

    Merry Christmas. God Bless Us, Everyone! (this isn’t spam.)

  26. Mat DaFuc says:

    yeah that cover sucked balls.

  27. Mike Danger says:

    these guys are hipsters. hahaha

    Merry Christmas!

  28. Mat DaFuc says:

    hey that cover sucked balls.

  29. yeah that cover sucked balls

  30. Levi Johnston says:

    The Woozy Ass cover is even worse than those by that folk idiot from New Jersey (or New York, what’s the difference anymore?) who put out a whole embarrassing record of Crass covers. My friend has the unenviable job of studying census figures. Evidently certain neighborhoods in Brooklyn and Queens are filled with more middle-Americans than native New Yorkers. I hope these trendoids from Kansas are not in fact too late for the trend.

    I would be honored to be on the cunt list too.

  31. Mike says:

    You’re thinking of Jeffrey Lewis and yeah that shit sucks too. These guys sound more like the oldies channel or cuntry music. Regardless shit sucks ass and has no place on this blog.

  32. roc says:

    This was a joke wasn’t it? The e-mails. The band. All for laughs?

  33. The Flakes // Drummer says:

    Ha ha I wish :D.

  34. Chris g says:

    it’s been three days since woozy commented
    i hope you’re working on a gift basket >=|

  35. Woozy Viper Fan 1.376 says:

    I think you guys should cool it, he sounds like a real bad ass. I mean think about it. He’s going to stomp a mud hole in your chest. Do you realize what trouble that is? First he has to stomp really hard on your chest. And no ordinary flat sole shoe will do, he’ll probably use his stiletto heels. Not the one’s he uses to turn tricks, but his moms. Then he has to gather mud from out side and fill said chest hole. That’s diabolical! I just wanna go on record that I can’t put up with their music and hate mud holes on my chest or anywhere else for that matter. Hooray for Woozy Viper, the new punk overlords.

  36. Hippie Johnny says:

    Those bastards, they steal your synthesizer.

  37. Bobby says:

    Hey, Woozy Viper dude. I’ll be at the ALL show on the ninth. If you wanna meet up there I will fight you. I’ll update you to let you now what I’ll be wearing.

    • Woozy (Ass)Viper says:

      I saw you at that show man, you were standing by the stage wearing a Woozy (Ass)Viper shirt man!?!? Then, later I’m pretty sure I saw you again in the parking lot. You and some Woozy (Ass)Viper gentleman were doing some pretty Woozy (Ass)Viper fisting. To each their own I guess.

  38. Bobby says:

    Fuck, tour was canceled. You’re one lucky dude!

    • Woozy (Ass)Viper says:

      Fuck, wrong show! I DID see you at that Woozy (Ass)Viper show wearing that Woozy (Ass)Viper shirt though Bobby!!! Don’t Woozy (Ass)Viper!!! This is Woozy (Ass)Viper, we shared a locker together a couple years ago?!? You had a fuckin’ picture up of Woozy (Ass)Viper man!! Tell the truth Bobby!!!

  39. Fack!

    This sound reminds me a lot of Deliverance…Woozy Viper have yet the courage to fight for intermarriage which is a unique piece of evidence that they’re not gay trendy rich boys from Brooklyn but pure manly male models from Georgia!

    South will Rise Again, fellows!

    Otherwise, take a listen to our band, it’s gayer and less technical than Woozy Wiggers but it might fit a little bit more with the website:

    http://www.myspace.com/janitors17

    We’re french so we smell rotten cheese and garlic and of course our women don’t shave!

    Down the hatch!

    Tino.

    • Jay Thurston says:

      I thought Ian Stuart was dead??? The band does sound like Skrewdriver and everyone knows that I LOVE THEM!!! The voice…the voice, is better than anything in the world…even Foie Gras!! I am now going to Jacque in the Box and buy some French fries and French bread and am going to make a French dip. Viva La Revoluttion!!

  40. BK Punk says:

    Not everyone in Brooklyn is gay or trendy or a rich kid. Most of you sound like homophobic morons.

  41. SD says:

    WOOZY ViPER FOREVER. “Rent” is a great song. c’mon!

  42. Dirk says:

    Hooray its spam time
    Liked the Janitors, Skewdriver with a Kids intro gotta luv it!
    More spam:
    http://www.myspace.com/bloodcurseofficialpage

  43. Danny says:

    Woho that was some of the worst shit i´ve heard Dirk!!!!

  44. Hi kid!
    holy smoke…
    /mat

  45. since my band hasnt gotten any attention from this blog in a while and ive enjoyed this banter so much (been cheking back every couple days to catch up on the drama and totaly “LOL”ing everytime. fuck it i think i’ll throw my hat in this game
    the orientation of the tunes has changed since the last time we were reviewd in this wonderfull blog starting to lean more in the wussybuttfuckin viper direction

    http://www.myspace.com/shootitup
    ahh im cumming right now cus i just so much love oportunities for shameless self promoting

    dictated-not-read.bogspot.com

  46. jc says:

    I don’t see what the problem is. They sound like early velvet underground and stooges with some rockabilly mixed in like the cramps. Are those bands not punk enough for you either? It’s stripped down rock n roll and in my opinion that’s what all good punk music is. Open your minds and give these guys a break.

    • Jay Thurston says:

      You are right, JC…they are reminiscent of the Velvets and the Cramps with a little bit of Sex Pistols too. I hear it now. I have now become a fan of theirs!! Where can I buy a t shirt!!?

    • so I went back and heard ’em again after you giving them a velvets meets stooges review (this time on there myplace), and now i feel you owe me ten minutes back jc , ALTHOUGH i do hear it they have the janglie clankin guitar and sometimes they have a stoogie’esque draged out raga, but the vocal is wats fukin em up man too doors’y and absent of any anger thats wat it needs, they wouldnt be so bad i think if they worked around that maybe fuzzed up the guit and drilled on a bass a little more they’d make a good blues band, and if they just piked up the pace just a tad, some of the lyric is realy good too but they fuck that up by over writing and making the lyric to aware of itself they gotta trim it down. man these are all good pointer’s someone should forward them this

  47. elliott says:

    ok i’ll give them a break. i’ll break their fuckin necks! na just kitting. but really dude your band sucks dog cock and i deleted the album after listening once. get some real tallent. peter is a way better drummer than whoever is drumming. woozy buttfuckin viper is right. you are probably buttfucking eachother right now. so get some tallent and go away.

  48. Young Buck says:

    All you dinosaur punks on this blog need to shut the fuck up. You’re out of touch.

    • The Flakes // Drummer says:

      At least we´re not making dinosaur music that sucks.

      • Woozy (Ass)Viper says:

        Yeah, yeah, yeah you are. No one has even heard of Woozy (Ass)Viper, so go back to la la land ya poser ass Woozy (Ass)Viper.

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